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The new and improved Digiday dictionary

August 14, 2015
Aaron Polmeer

By Shareen Pathak

Jargon is the HPV virus marketing and media industries: Awful and ubiquitous, but you kind of don’t really notice it after a while. Too often, internal lexicon is used as a way to mask processes and befuddle the masses. To aid our collective comprehension, we’re releasing an updated version of the Digiday Dictionary, a collection of phrases, nouns and concepts with our own definitions. If you’ve got more you want to see added to the list, tweet them at us.

Agency of record: Fall guy
Agency review: 
Free ideas
Branded content:
 An ad
Brand newsroom: Marketers with J-school degrees
BuzzFeed: Media for millennials living at home
Circle back: Send yet another unsolicited email
Close the loop: Get the credit card number
Collaborative creative company: Cheap agency
Comic-Con: the new SXSW
Consumers: Humans
Content studio: Copywriters with J-school degrees
Cord-cutters: See: Millennials
Cord-nevers: Gen Z
Dynamic creative: Retargeting
Engagement: When you get a person to like, favorite or comment
Facebook: Your parents’ social network
Gawker: A New York City-based Socialist collective
Google Glass: Ghost town
Idea consultancy: Agency
Idea factory: Agency
Incognito mode: Porn tool
Influencer: Idiot teenager with more than 1,000 followers
Internet of things: Tweeting toilets
LUMAscape: Clogged arteries
LinkedIn: Email marketing company
MCN: A YouTube ad network + branded content studio + talent management firm (but don’t call them an MCN)
Mashable: Tech news without the tech
Mic: Watered-down news for snake people (See: Millennials)
Millennials: Snake people marketers love
Mobile World Congress: Apple’s no-go zone
Mobile-first: Slept through first 10 ‘years of mobile’
Multiplatform: Can’t get it right anywhere
Native advertising: An ad
OTT: TV you don’t have to pay (the cable companies) for
Oculus Rift: Porn tool
Omnichannel: A buzzword that’s impossible to correctly use in a sentence
Periscope: Piracy
Pivot: “Hope it works this time”
Point of purchase: Cash register
Premium video: Publishers reaching to get more ad dollars for their video
Publisher: Anyone with an Internet connection
‘Real time’ content: An image you see 10 minutes after the joke is over
SXSW: A waste of time
Sequential targeting: where retargeting should have been five years ago
Slack: Unsolicited GIF machine
Snapchat: “We’re more than dick pics!”
Sponsored content: An ad
Storytelling: An ad
Surprise and delight: The same thing we did last year
Television: The big screen in your living room connected to your Apple TV
Twitter: Mob rule
Vice: An ad agency based in Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Viewability: Good luck with that
Vine: Six seconds of … six seconds of … six seconds of …
Viral: “Post it to YouTube”
Vox: media for millennials with jobs
YouTube stars: (Rich) teens with a webcam

The post The new and improved Digiday dictionary appeared first on Digiday.

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